Inverse Karma

The 50th post on Inverse Karma will deal with my most favourite topic of all, love! I’ll start it off with a regular disclaimer – The views contained this article are completely of a diagnostic nature and should not be used as a guide to freak others out.

Ah, love! Isn’t it a magical feeling? From a guy’s perspective, I’ve found that guys in love (or in whatever they think love is) can be classified into 3 types. I would’ve loved to look at things from a victim girl’s point of view, but I’d rather save the cryptology exam for later. I had wanted to write an essay on this topic, but decided to go for something visually.. erm.. stimulating

The creepy guy

This is one of the interesting varieties. Sooner or later, you’re gonna come across the creepy guy and trust me, its gonna take superhuman effort to ward him off. He usually doesn’t give up and keeps coming back. You can meet a voodoo witch doctor or hire cons to take him out. Also, as he starts texting you, you can use names such as weirdo, whacko, freakshow, psycho, jerkface, nuisance and stalker to save his number in your contacts so that you’ll remember to ignore it. Note that for the creep to leave you and pick some one else, its gonna take a hell of a lot of time (maybe even years!) and verbal abuse (you’d probably be hurling words that don’t even exist, but its okay) and oh.. some ruffling the feathers too (if you’re not into Karate and stuff, you should be now!)

The average guy

Now here’s the average guy. He usually plays it safe and would like to be acknowledged as “the good guy”. Well in reality, he’s just a cat waiting to prey on the mouse. He’ll first do the background check on you and make sure you’re clean(?!?). Then he’ll grab your number through some common friend’s mobile and then starts texting you. Once you reply, the love switch is turned on. Now he’ll do all the crazy walking-straight-into-a-truck-while-lost-in-dreams and pillow-biting stuff (Tamil cinema teaches us to do this when we’re in love). Finally, the girl will be the last person in the world to know he’s in love with her. If you ditch him, you’re a bitch. If you don’t, you soon will! The guy moves on (hopefully) and the cycle continues.

The prick

I don’t know what the hell it is with girls, but they fall easily for the prick. And finally Karma teaches them a lesson with its sucker punch. Seriously, girls need to get away from the guy who wants them to be his rag doll!

FYI, I drew all these flowcharts using Microsoft Word 2007 and watermarked them with Photoshop in an epic effort at killing boredom.

Welcome back amigo! Check out the homepage for latest posts or the archives for older posts.

You might also want to read..

The wisdom I’ve gained